Having been in the business a while now, I like to tell my clients what they can expect as honestly and realistically as possible.
The other night, I was talking to a couple who were preparing to put an offer on a property the next day in a multiple offer situation. I warned them they may not sleep well, or not at all.
When we’re getting a home prepared for sale, there are a lot of deadlines, things to do, changes to make and of course the emotional upheaval of letting strangers into your home and moving on. I warn clients that they may hate us at times in this process, and that’s ok.
Circumstances sometimes force people to be in one or both of these situations, but most of the time it’s for great reasons.
No matter what the scenario, I get to see people at their best and their worst.
Here is what I’ve learned and how you can deal with the stress of selling and buying, and maybe life in general.
1. Even though it feels like it at the time, things are not as bad as they seem.
When your primary focus is buying or selling a home, it can become all-consuming. So when one thing happens that is not in your control, it can feel like a gargantuan problem.
When we were selling our own home, my wife was trying to get my daughter and our dog out of the house. My daughter had a complete meltdown, wailing on the threshold of the front door while the dog kept running back inside. Meanwhile, the agent and his buyers were on their way up the front steps for a showing.
I received a phone message that I can’t repeat but she now looks back and laughs at the situation and realized that it was just 10 minutes of hell because she didn’t give herself enough time to leave.
2. Things really do work out the way they were meant to.
If an offer isn’t accepted on a home, a buyer is just one step closer to geting the right one. It doesn’t feel like it at the time, especially when part of the buying process is envisioning yourself and your life in a home, only to have it taken away if it doesn’t work out.
But when you sit back and enjoy that first glass of wine in your new house, you’ll know it all worked out for the best.
3. Everything feels personal, even thought it’s not.
When buyers are offering on your home and don’t give you the price you want (right away 🙂 it’s not becauase they are trying to hurt or offend you, they are just trying to get the best possible deal for themselves.
Same thing goes when someone rejects your offer. That’s what agents are for…to be more neutral so that they can see the strategy and plan the next move, not get ticked off and react emotionally.
I learned that when selling my own house – even though I am an agent, I didn’t have that advocate to buffer the emotions and it definitely impacted me.
4. Sometimes, emotions will overwhelm you.
Selling and buying a home is usually related to a major life event. Your family is growing, you have changed jobs, your kids have left home.
It also means leaving a home that you may have a big emotional attachment to. Perhaps your kids were born there, or it was your first home as a married couple.
Whatever the reasons, there is a lot of emotional baggage that comes with moving. Don’t let it creep up on you. Acknowledge that it’s a milestone and let it go.
5. Second guessing is bad.
Because a lot is at stake, many people start second guessing their decisions and let the advice of poeple who are not necessarily professionals sway them against their gut instincts and the advice they are getting from those who are in an educated position.
I give my clients what my opinion is based on being in the market every hour of the day, and my understanding of what they are trying to achieve. But I also tell them that they have to be 100% comfortable with any decisions they make as ultimately they are the ones who will be living with the outcome. That covers everything from when to buy, what to pay, how much to sell for and when to make a move.
Be comfortable with your decisions but make sure they are not clouded by emotion, greed, or your good old uncle who suddenly becomes a real estate expert. And trust your real estate agent. 🙂